Okay, so my life is complete chaos right now. Let me break it down:

Today: Go to work, then out with a semi-large group of people to celebrate my birthday which is actually next Wednesday. One person is still on the maybe side and would have to travel four hours from NJ to get here - it’s 3:19 and I have no final answer. As I was getting ready today I was helping a friend through a personal crisis but I can’t do anything other than talk because they are extremely far away and it makes me feel like shit.

Tomorrow: Get up, get over hangover, do some things around the house, and pack. Yes, pack (see Sunday for details). Go to party at Reese’s in the evening.

Sunday-Tuesday: Get up, get over hangover, load up the car and drive to NJ. Turns out my big bro is flying in and will be here for a week. I haven’t seen him in nearly two years and in a month he will be leaving the country for an unnamed length of time so this is my one and only shot to see him. See my brother, run around NJ like a mad-woman, etc.

Tuesday afternoon: Drive back from NJ, meet with RIC’s Amnesty Int’l president and discuss the plans for the coming semester.

Tuesday evening: Finish A Long Way Gone and finish notes and write up for the OBOM book discussion. Apply for RIC bookstore credit and pick up ALL fall semester books.

Wednesday: My birthday. Finish A Long Way Gone because I’m sure I won’t have finished it Tuesday night no matter how ambitious I think I am. Clean my place, get school supplies ready, etc.

Thursday: Get a hold of vocal teacher and set up schedule for fall semester voice classes. Come up with possible event/fundraiser ideas for RIC AI. Laundry, housework, get oil changed, and other miscellany.

Friday: Pack. Yes, again.

Saturday: Leave for NJ, get to J’s house and settled… rest for long drive following day to farthest corner of NJ.

Sunday: Drive to LBI, wedding, party, hotel, sleep.

Monday: Drive ALLL the way back RI.

Tuesday: First day of classes.

Wah.

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Artist: Coldplay | Song: See You Soon

It’s 10:39 p.m. and I’m sitting on the bed in my hotel room feeling a myriad of feelings that I thought were long gone. I feel like the world is my own. It is as though I stepped out of myself - the person I am when I am dragging myself out of bed each morning to walk into a job that means nothing to me, the feeling of confusion that seems to take hold of me when I wake up in the morning and I don’t know who I am, why I am in the place I’m in - and became who I really am. I am only beginning to understand.

I feel connected to everything around me.

Tonight, I walked alone on the streets of Boston in the rain. I let the rain soak through my shirt, seep into my skin, and I felt so unbelievably alive…

Faces from the past, the now, and the future ran through my mind and all I could do was smile, and walk.

I feel connected to the street, the sky, each person aside of me on the subway… most of all I feel connected to me.

I am in love with the world.

Goodnight.

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Artist: Travis | Song: Flowers In The Window

A photo and a song for today. The photo was taken from my kitchen window a few minutes ago and the song I heard this morning and was reminded of myself in recent days. I feel that my life is working itself out. It’s a slow process that grows frustrating but when I remind myself where I’m heading it’s okay.

But live life now. I keep reminding myself of that too.

The other day, I realized I’m in the love with the world. In love with it’s problems, its miracles, and its ability to change and evolve at the fingertips of our efforts as people.

I’m in Boston with Amnesty International this weekend. Working for change. Fulfillment, finally. Happiness. Movement. Growth.

The definition of The Spirit of Exploration lie in the word ‘Spirit’.

I believe to really be able to explore, to seek out, to look for experiences outside the confining borders of a working-person’s daily life, one must have spirit. It takes a certain kind of person to wake up one morning and walk away from everything he or she knows to be comfortable and to immerse oneself fearlessly into the world.

Here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be an expensive, exotic location to change a person’s perspective on their own life. I realized this not too long ago; it took a long time to get here. I am a twenty-five year old female that has lived in a handful of different states on both coasts and driven across the middle of the country and really has yet to find that spirit and learn how to explore. It almost doesn’t make sense, I had so many opportunities to put myself out there and to allow myself to feel uncomfortable long enough to figure out how to deal with it - to figure out how to explore even some of the most mundane cities and find something inspiring on each street corner, alley way, local bar or highway.

Currently, I live alone and have lived in the same state for two years now. Until very recently, something kept me from exploring the streets I travel on everyday, from meeting new people and learning from them, and from allowing myself to become acquainted with this city.

The Spirit of Exploration encompasses a lack of inhibition, a recklessness most lose with childhood. I can’t say if it happens to everyone, in fact, I would argue that it doesn’t and admit envy for those people who have managed to get older and still take chances. My exploration begins now with the town that I am living in and will continue to grow without fear or apprehension of what might happen until I’ve seen all there is to see.

Which if I understand correctly, means that there is no end in sight.