This is a test post, have not posted in forever.

I have not had time to post here in weeks. All I need to say is:

WE DID IT! OBAMA 08!!!!!!!

So I’m in my India class right now and looking forward to the end of the evening. I made an executive decision to listen to a little birdie in Bali, and take a day off. Two, actually. Tomorrow and Wednesday I have one class each day, and aside of one two-page reflective analysis I have to write I am completely caught up on all my work. My India professor assigned an eight-page research paper, which I completed last Friday, and turned into today.

I went to my voice class this morning with a terribly sad, downtrodden mindset. My voice teacher, who is totally amazing and positive, gave me the best pep-talk and really just made me feel better about who I am and what I’m doing. It has just been easier to get all sidetracked by the ferocity of it all than to fight off the negative thoughts and smile my way through it. So even though I can’t take both days off from work, I’m taking time away from school (that won’t leave me behind).

I plan on doing the homework that is due Thursday at my leisure, cleaning up my apartment, doing some class reading (to stay ahead), and maybe even cook some food to bring with me to work/school for the rest of the week.

So looking forward to it. Oh man. Tuesday morning awaits.

School has started. Life is out of control.

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Artist: Counting Crows | Song: Shallow Days (acoustic demo)

I’m home but only for a day. I’ll be getting into a car Saturday morning and traveling the same roads I just traversed in my second trip to New Jersey for the week.

I need to be honest… I’m tired, stressed, and irritated over a bunch of things, most of which are out of my control. I just need to lie down on my own bed and fall into a dreamless sleep. I don’t want to think about anything or anyone, I don’t want to worry about money and bills, I don’t want to make lists or plans… I just want to drift away into a cloud of white and wake up tomorrow feeling like myself again.

Seeing my brother was wonderful but incredibly surreal with a touch of bittersweet. I had to rush myself around this morning when I was getting ready to leave because I knew if I looked at him for longer than a minute I’d burst into tears and I didn’t want to cry for the entire four-hour drive home. He’s leaving soon and I don’t know when I’ll see him again… I know it’s best for him but it’s no less painful to know he’ll be so far away. He made this birthday week amazing, but a piece of me is still so incredibly sad.

I think I might lie down for that rest now… before my emotions catch up with me…