Okay, so my life is complete chaos right now. Let me break it down:

Today: Go to work, then out with a semi-large group of people to celebrate my birthday which is actually next Wednesday. One person is still on the maybe side and would have to travel four hours from NJ to get here - it’s 3:19 and I have no final answer. As I was getting ready today I was helping a friend through a personal crisis but I can’t do anything other than talk because they are extremely far away and it makes me feel like shit.

Tomorrow: Get up, get over hangover, do some things around the house, and pack. Yes, pack (see Sunday for details). Go to party at Reese’s in the evening.

Sunday-Tuesday: Get up, get over hangover, load up the car and drive to NJ. Turns out my big bro is flying in and will be here for a week. I haven’t seen him in nearly two years and in a month he will be leaving the country for an unnamed length of time so this is my one and only shot to see him. See my brother, run around NJ like a mad-woman, etc.

Tuesday afternoon: Drive back from NJ, meet with RIC’s Amnesty Int’l president and discuss the plans for the coming semester.

Tuesday evening: Finish A Long Way Gone and finish notes and write up for the OBOM book discussion. Apply for RIC bookstore credit and pick up ALL fall semester books.

Wednesday: My birthday. Finish A Long Way Gone because I’m sure I won’t have finished it Tuesday night no matter how ambitious I think I am. Clean my place, get school supplies ready, etc.

Thursday: Get a hold of vocal teacher and set up schedule for fall semester voice classes. Come up with possible event/fundraiser ideas for RIC AI. Laundry, housework, get oil changed, and other miscellany.

Friday: Pack. Yes, again.

Saturday: Leave for NJ, get to J’s house and settled… rest for long drive following day to farthest corner of NJ.

Sunday: Drive to LBI, wedding, party, hotel, sleep.

Monday: Drive ALLL the way back RI.

Tuesday: First day of classes.

Wah.

I’ve been MIA for awhile now. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m busy, which I am, or because I just don’t have anything to write about… at least not here. This summer started off so hectic but empty, lifeless and lonely, and now I am almost wishing for a day like I had in late June. No one to talk to, no where to be, no plans to be made or appointments to keep. I always want what I don’t have and when I have it I don’t want it. I guess the world is just that way… I’d like to learn contentment one of these days.

I’ve been longing to write for weeks, sit down and pound at the keys for hours, frenzied with inspiration but it comes out in spurts. Mental spits of scenes I see in my head or lines that catch me and I jot them down but nothing follows. I am keeping them in a folder that is prominently displayed on my desktop as if a blatant reminder of my lack of creativity and the death of my once lavish vocabulary.

School is coming, and fast. I might have bitten off more than I can chew. Four classes, mentorship, Amnesty International Student Coordinator, work, life…

If I disappear into the ether at least there’s a chance I could have something to write about when I get back.

I took my first bike ride of the summer this morning around 7:30 a.m. and I loved every minute of it. I didn’t want to ride for too long because I didn’t want to kill myself on the first day. I want to go riding at least once a day. Cruising around Providence in the morning was actually more pleasant than I’d imagined. There wasn’t a ton of traffic, people were out sweeping their storefronts, hanging flags, drinking coffee and reading… it was storybook-like. I rode up to the bank to deposit money to pay bills, then over to Seven Stars to get a coffee, then down to the south side of town near the park, and then back up and around to my house. I think it works out to be about 2-3 miles. I’m going to try for 5 tomorrow and gradually work my way up to longer rides.

When I came home I set right into working on finances and calculating this month’s bills, payments, etc. I have to say, and I know everyone is saying it, this economy is awful and getting worse by the second. Granted I make halfway decent money but in no means am I breaking any records. When all is said and done after bills, I’m barely getting by. I applied for a bunch of part-time jobs but no one is hiring due to the economic climate, so I’ve just been watching where my money goes. That being said, the bike purchase was an extra but necessary one. I’ve been wanting a means of fun exercising (I hate going to the gym) as well as a way to get local errands done without using my car. Sure, I could walk but biking is faster and more fun - plus you burn more calories that way.

I’m actually a little proud that I have been living as well as I have without spending a lot of money. In the past couple of weeks I have spent more than I normally do but only to purchase things that were necessary. For example, I had to buy a new pet carrier. The one I have has a hole in the mesh and neither Claudio or Sebastian fit in it. I found one on eBay for $8.99, it should be here right before their vet visits next week.

Not much else to report I guess? Working, reading, riding, relaxing, and enjoying the summer. Yay.

I’m feeling a little off today but not necessarily in a bad way. Just strange. The weekend was nice but felt short.

Went and saw The Strangers on Saturday. Now, some may mock me for saying this but it has been a long time since a movie really scared me… but man, The Strangers sort of got to me because the premise of the film is believable and could happen to practically anyone.

Funny thing, I scared the crap out of myself last night. I was heading to bed and because it was extremely hot in my apartment I decided to turn on the AC to cool off my room for a little while. Since I only have one AC I had to close the door because the rest of the windows in my house were open. On my way into my room I realized that I’d forgotten to turn the kitchen light off so when I did I made sure the fan was on but turned the light off. My ceiling fan is old and the piece that holds the bulb straight is dangling a little (not badly, but enough). I turned the fan on and started to walk into my room and all of a sudden there was this crazy clicking sound that sounded like someone grabbing the door knob of my kitchen door and trying to get in. I swear my whole body ran cold. Hahaha, then I remembered the dangling bulb and looked up - the plastic was hitting the casing of the fan. Oy, I laughed out loud for like five minutes at how completely skiddish I’d become in a matter of one day.

Even though it was just a movie, it made me think about being a little more prepared if someone were to try to get into my house. Anyway…

Other than that I didn’t do much of anything yesterday. Watched a bunch of movies, hung out. It’s been a pretty relaxed summer vacation so far. When I met with Prof. C on Friday she gave me an application for an internship with Senator Reid, so I’m thinking about doing that as well. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, thanks to PaperBackSwap, watching movies and doing little things that I wanted to get done during the school year but couldn’t because of time issues.

I guess that’s it for now… Maybe I’ll write more soon.

P.S. Today is my one year anniversary.

Feeling a little better than last week, so I can’t (and won’t) complain (much).

Was actually fairly productive this weekend even though some of it was wonderfully lazy. Friday was definitely an off day but the evening brightened up, which set the stage for the rest of the weekend to follow suit. Saturday was my lazy day. B and I didn’t get out of bed/get moving until around four-ish. We picked up my laundry and went grocery shopping, then came home to make dinner. The evening was spent camped out on the couches that were pulled together like the foundation for a makeshift fort. Watched The Air I Breathe and The Number 23. Both movies are great… but neither are heralded so.  I think the problem facing ‘23 was that the film was marketed as a horror movie, when really it was more of a film noir-ish, detective story. The Air I Breathe wasn’t mass-marketed, thought it definitely should have been… if not for the sole reason that it would have been a decent revival of Brendan Fraser’s career. Snicker, go ahead.

Slept in late Sunday, B went home, I took care of some paperwork and the like… For some reason I got into this crazy domestic mood and cooked five separate meals and cleaned my apartment. I now have a clean house and tons of choices for dinner for the week. Yay.

All this is wonderful, however, it doesn’t make me super happy to go into work…

It’s cold and rainy outside, but I’m enjoying the grey light that comes with it. The silence is calming and necessary before another hectic night of endless phone calls, problems, and incompetence.

There are only five weeks left of the semester… then summer vacation. I thought I might get stir-crazy if I didn’t have something to do in the mornings during the break. I can’t afford to take summer courses at the moment so I’ve been looking for other alternatives. I actually ended up requesting more information (and plan to sign up) for Barack Obama’s Fellowship program for the summer. It starts in June, which is still a good chunk of vacation time, and requires about thirty hours a week. I’m not sure what the selection process will be but I hope it works out. I figure it will look good on a resume and/or application for grad school when the time comes.

Anyway, it’s getting late and I need to change for work… but I wanted to let myself (because I’m probably the only fool who reads my writing) know that I’m feeling better-ish. I wanted to write that part down, just in case I got confused.

It happens.