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Artist: Counting Crows | Song: Shallow Days (acoustic demo)

I’m home but only for a day. I’ll be getting into a car Saturday morning and traveling the same roads I just traversed in my second trip to New Jersey for the week.

I need to be honest… I’m tired, stressed, and irritated over a bunch of things, most of which are out of my control. I just need to lie down on my own bed and fall into a dreamless sleep. I don’t want to think about anything or anyone, I don’t want to worry about money and bills, I don’t want to make lists or plans… I just want to drift away into a cloud of white and wake up tomorrow feeling like myself again.

Seeing my brother was wonderful but incredibly surreal with a touch of bittersweet. I had to rush myself around this morning when I was getting ready to leave because I knew if I looked at him for longer than a minute I’d burst into tears and I didn’t want to cry for the entire four-hour drive home. He’s leaving soon and I don’t know when I’ll see him again… I know it’s best for him but it’s no less painful to know he’ll be so far away. He made this birthday week amazing, but a piece of me is still so incredibly sad.

I think I might lie down for that rest now… before my emotions catch up with me…